A man has uninvited his cousins from his wedding after discovering they’d been sending information about him to his mum, who he hasn’t spoken to since he was 15
A groom-to-be has revealed how he’s uninvited his own cousins from his wedding, after discovering they’d been leaking information about him to his estranged mum.
The 28-year-old, who has no brothers or sisters, hasn’t spoken to his mum since he was a teen after she had an affair, and has cut ties with the whole family, with the exception of a couple of cousins.
“I’m an only child and when I was 12 my parents divorced when my dad found out my mum cheated on him. This was devastating to my dad as my parents were best friends and started dating when they were 17,” the man explained on Reddit’s AITA forum.
“I played sports and my dad was my coach so I had a much closer relationship to him then my mum. I was supposed to spend one week at my mum’s then the next week at my dads. But I would usually just lock myself in my room at my mum’s. Usually my dad would drop me off and I would get on my bike and ride the couple miles back to his house.”
He added: “My mum would ask me things and I would literally pretend like she didn’t exist. It got so bad that lawyers got involved thinking my dad was turning me against my mum. My dad encouraged me to spend time with my mum, but I couldn’t. My mum tried putting us in therapy but I would just sit there till the time was up not saying a word to her. Eventually my mum broke down and let me just live with my dad.”
The man hasn’t spoken to his mum since he as 15 and would even ask his dad to get her to leave if she turned up to watch his games. She would try to speak to him at the end of matches and he would “walk right past her” without even acknowledging.
“I cut her whole family off besides a few of my cousins that were around my age. She showed up to my high school graduation and I asked a couple teachers to remove her and they did. She never dated anyone else to my knowledge and was still attempting to reconcile with my dad a few years before he passed, calling it the ‘biggest mistake of her life’ and begging my dad to forgive her,” he continued.
“When my dad passed a couple years ago she tried to show up to the funeral and I met her outside to ask her to leave. My fiancée Rachel was with me when I did this and my mum cried after learning we were engaged saying she couldn’t believe I hated her still this many years later.”
Last week the man received a letter from his mum with a large cheque inside. In the letter she told him she couldn’t live with herself not being invited to her only son’s wedding and that the whole family is so upset they’ve cut off. She also told him she’d been “keeping tabs on him” via his cousins.
“I ripped the cheque up and sent it back to the return address. She shouldn’t have even known my address as I keep her blocked on all social media. I called up my cousins who admitted that since I was 14 they have been providing my mum with updates on me; prom pics, college updates, engagement photos and they sent her my address,” he continued.
“I was so mad that I told them they wouldn’t be invited to the wedding anymore because I don’t want my mum getting access to it. Rachel is saying I’m going too far now and uninviting my cousins along with freezing out my mum’s whole family because of her actions is an a**hole move.”
The man to Reddit to question whether he was taking it too far by uninviting his cousins.
“Acting out as a 12-year-old is to be expected. Deciding not to ever forgive your mum is totally your right (though it was 16 years ago, and you, while affected, were not really the aggrieved party),” one Reddit user commented. “The fact that you are still throwing tantrums like a 12-year-old, at the age of 28, makes you the a**hole.”
Another added: “Why are you punishing your mum so severely? She made an awful mistake years ago, a mistake many parents do. They have a right to their own lives and moral failings.
“Honestly I would encourage you to explore why you feel this hatred for your mum that seems disproportionate. Punishing your cousins for showing compassion does seem like going too far.”